Mark Connor Kirke

( Application for Marcus Kirke )

RIGHT. Dunmoody, I want to know your New Years Resolutions.

i usually have such good intentions but forget all about them by February, so this year, I'm putting it RIGHT HERE in my JOURNAL, as though I was writing them in graffiti on the outside of my apartment.

Dunmoodians, this is the year where I will Get Shit Done.

1. Lose weight.

   No, really. I know this is everyone's stock resolution after gorging themselves over Christmas, but you don't come through a year where your brother is the World's Most Beautiful Man-Shaped Piece Of Ass without feeling like that ugly sister that no one invited to the ball. I will be hotter than Andrew this time next year, YOU JUST WAIT.

   
   
2. Learn a new skill.

   I'm pretty badass with the cooking at the moment, if I do say so myself, and I am proud of having accomplished a certain skill this year that was beyond baking, but I need to do something else. I'm thinking a musical instrument.

   
   
3. Save money.

   I'm ridiculous, the way I spend money. Used to be that I just spent everything I had on Laura, and I still consider that money well spent, but rather than curb that when we broke up, I just started spending it on useless things. I have so much stuff. So, aside from money needed for points 1 and 2, I am going to save like a penny pincher. I may need it for some sort of venture at any rate

That's probably enough for now, but I will more than likely add to it. What do you say, Dunmoody? Who wants to take up some resolutions with me? What do you have planned for the New Year?

Can you get jet-lagged from Floo powder? And like, a whopping one hour time difference? No? THEN WHY AM I SO SLEEPY?

In other words: honey, I'm hooome! Paris was AMAZING. I've never cooked so much in my life, which is saying something when you consider the amount of cupcakes we go through in Bitten. French food is such a challenge, but man, can I just say that I LOVE FOOD? I want to marry food. Not like those weird people who marry inanimate objects or anything. I just love it.

Maybe my rabid love is from being in Paris, where you're more or less expected to be in love. Which blows. I almost had a whirlwind holiday romance with this one girl, but it was too intense. Kitchen was too hot. That's not a metaphor, we were literally sweating too much to appear attractive to one another so that fizzled and died.

~ELISE

Dany misses you, seriously. She's giving me the extreme bitch-face, the ol' stink-eye. I think she almost howled 'Elise' but it could've just been some gas.

SO. Since you've just finished doing me one whopping favour, can I ask another? I need a favour, por favor! Again.

~DREW & SARAH

I got the most amazing little stripey-shirt and beret combinations for Grace and baby Luke the baby, they are going to look so chic and Frawnch. All we need now is to get them teeny weeny cigarettes. Magical ones. Not cancer-making ones.

I want to do something for you two, if you're agreeable. Since I had to bugger off to France and the kid was only just born, I was wondering if you'd like to be my taste-testers? I'd like to make you a celebratory French dinner. And also I want to babysit, but not on the same night. I'll bribe Elise for that one.

In case anyone is looking for me, unlikely as that is I am in Paris.

You know, I love Dunmoody as much as the next guy, but whenever I come to Paris I feel like WHY DON'T I LIVE HERE? Admittedly I'm not getting enough time off from my culinary course to do much in the way of sight-seeing, but I have the weekend off if anyone wants to pop over and see the sights. We each have our own little rooms in these shared apartments, so there's floorspace and a sofa if you don't mind roughing it for the sake of PARIS!

Also, if anyone would like a souvenir, let me know. Drew, Sarah, they have teeny tiny berets. I'm just saying.

AH. Dunmoody Olympics, how is it that I only heard about you now? Not that I would've signed up - HA! - but I almost feel bad for what I'm about to show you people who are trying to get fit.

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All of these will be available in the run-up to Halloween, and if you want to order a lot for a party, we'll be able to do a deal! Come on over to BITTEN and eat your fears.

Seriously. Sorry about the Olympics. MAYBE I JUST WANT YOU ALL TO BE FAT LIKE ME, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH! If I can't do an evil laugh at Halloween, when can I? I repeat: BWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!

Source: ♥

Dunmoodians, my insomnia is your insomni-ooooohyeaaaaah!

I asked my friends to challenge me to make some cupcakes that I had not made before, and taste tests conclude that they are most delicious. So, I came into work early this morning to share the spoils with you fine lookin' Moodies.
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If you weren't going to come to Bitten this morning, I think you should now.

Sources: 1 2 3 4

~PRIVATE

Right, Mark, there's no easy way to do this. If nothing else, you might get some closure.

In the interest of my sanity, and not to have the same conversation with everyone I meet... Laura and I have broke up. It's a hard enough conversation to have once, so hopefully this will be the last time. It wasn't entirely mutual, but we don't bare each other any ill will. I don't need little voodoo Laura's to pop up (I'm looking at you, Elise) and would appreciate it if no one made little voodoo Marks. It's been a long time coming, so I've already gone through the misery phase and would sooner not relive it. I do still love her

So. That's that.

In other news, there's a cinema in Dublin showing 'The Day After Tomorrow' and I could use a laugh. Anyone want to laugh at ridiculous disaster movies and gorge themselves on popcorn with me?

You know what? I'd like to keep busy instead of sitting on my ass. Going to have a baking day, see if I can't improve on perfection. Someone challenge me!

~PRIVATE

Merlin's sack, I work with some cranky women. If I had the money, I'd go out on my own. I'd have a cake shop and call it CUDDLES AND CAKE, because that's what I'm good at, and the staff would be happy and everyone would rejoice. But, if I had the money to make my own business, then I'd surely have enough money to ask Laura to marry me, since that's what she wants. Do I want to?

~BRIELLE

I saw what you did.

This is usually the time of the day when I have a nap with my krup, but I'm very alert. Note to self: don't sample the baked, sugary goods.

Who wants to play a game? Since it's a little early for drinking, I propose a Round Robin. I'll start a story, and you can pick it up with a word or a sentence or whatever you want to contribute.

HERE: "Once, there was a pretty woman who hated being conventionally beautiful. So, one day, she..."

YOUR TURN, DUNMOODIANS!

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I don't know about you, Residents of Dunmoody, but I think we should empty the community pool and have parties in there. It's such a huge space, and we could always put a canopy over the top to keep the rain out. Or a marquee roof. IMAGINE THE POSSIBILITIES. It's PERFECT.

Sockrayblue! My leetle seester is the most amazing culinary assistant evair! Just look at the wonderful deliciousness we made together:

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It's okay if you drool.

~WARDED TO LUNA

Sometimes it takes a sister to make a guy think straight. I hope you're not insulted that I made mud pies, and I totally understand why you'd be put out. I wasn't thinking, honest. I just thought it would be fun, and I remembered how you like chocolate. Do you want to call over for some pie?

It's RAINING CHOCOLATE in my apartment! I'd be more concerned about it only it's absolutely delicious. I'm just leaving stuff from my fridge on the counter. Almost everything tastes better covered in chocolate. In the meantime, I'm running around in circles with my mouth open!

I still don't want to talk to you but Sarah, do you know if that rule about dogs and chocolate applies to crups?

EDIT -- PARTY IN MY APARTMENT! DRESSCODE: SWIMWEAR. BRING BOOZE AND STUFF THAT IS GREAT WITH CHOCOLATE, WHICH IS ANYTHING, MY FRIENDS!

There's free dinner. No one told me there's free dinner.

Ladies, I know I'm not the most attractive man on the bill. I have a few extra pounds for cuddling, but if you pick me, I'll bake you a cake. Ladies love cake, right?

In the interest of being completely candid, I love my girlfriend. But I am SO FUN.

~LAURA

Baby, get your purse. No one is going to bid on me I bet, and we will get a dinner out of it! DINNER. YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT DINNER.

OKAY - I was not going to celebrate my birthday, but I accidentally made a birthday cake without even noticing and if someone doesn't come help me eat it, then I'm going to eat myself into my flat.

Also I've got BBQ stuff. I'M ON THE ROOF. Who's hungry?